I'm not the most patient person in the world, and it's becoming more obvious. I'm speaking of the grief process I'm smack dab in the middle of. It's been almost two months since my mom passed and the past few weeks I felt I was finally past the tears. Yep, I was done....I had reached acceptance in record time. Then....
Friday, my step-daughter got married. During the reception, I grabbed my cell phone to call mom to check in and let her know how everything was going. Reality hit, tears pooled and I headed out to the car to get myself together before I completely broke down. Then tonight at choir rehearsal we sang “The Old Rugged Cross” … one of my mom's favorites. I looked over at my dad (they both enjoyed going to rehearsal) and for a split second, expected to see my mom sitting there next to him, with that beautiful smile...but dad was alone.
I know in my mind she's in a better place, and I should be rejoicing in her freedom from suffering and pain...but my heart just won't cooperate...yet. I'll just continue to move forward and when the tears come I'll let them flow and allow God to wipe them away.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)