NOTE: Commentary is made as a private citizen and not as Regional Coordinator for Silent No More or Leader of Rachel's Hope, unless otherwise stated.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Lenten Food for Thought

The following post was written a few years back.  Since Lent is right around the corner, how about giving up anger and spend the time focusing on forgiveness? 

As a writer, life experiences sometimes inspire ideas for future projects, but I never expected a menial household chore to be one of them. 

You see, I had an attack of domesticity the other day and decided to clean out my refrigerator.  I realized the contents could very easily be used to get rid of a spouse, backstabbing friend, noisy neighbor ... well, the possibilities are endless, and the passing would more than likely be determined an "accidental poisoning". 

I'm embarrassed to say I had cottage cheese that expired three months ago, hidden behind a plastic container filled with something that morphed into a green slimy substance, hidden by all newly purchased grocery items.  In fact, there were several hidden plastic containers and some of the slime was even black. Did you know jelly can mold?  I didn't. I guess 2009 wasn't a good year for grapes. Of course, let's not forget salad dressing, horseradish, cans of whipped cream and a jar of maraschino cherries (I don't even remember using them - of course, they did expire in 2012).

Not only did this chore give me ideas for a future book, it reminded me to be more diligent in checking expiration dates and throw the old stuff out. It's bad enough to be faced with slime and mold, but the smell.....that alone could do someone in.

And ... here it comes ... it gave me food for thought:  Just like expired items in the fridge, unresolved anger or hurt will fester and eventually poison your soul if you don't throw it out through forgiveness.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Nobody Told Me (The Truth About Abortion)

The Walk for Life in Hemet, CA concludes at the Cemetery of the Innocent, a touching memorial with 3,000 crosses signifying the number of lives lost to abortion each day in the United States.

This past weekend, I was honored to be the keynote speaker at a rally prior to the walk and was asked to share the written version of my speech.  


It’s an honor and privilege to speak to so many dedicated pro-life warriors.  

3,000 crosses stand at the end of the walk today providing a visual reminder of the devastation of abortion … something else demonstrates it as well.  We’ve all been to vigils where victims are honored and remembered by a moment of silence ... If we took a minute of silence for each baby aborted, we would be silent for 112 years.   

Alex Elle once said, “You’re not a victim for sharing your story.  You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth.  And you never know who needs your light, your warmth, and raging courage.” As Regional Coordinator of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, I’m here to share the truth of what abortion does and be a beacon of hope for the women and men wounded by the lies perpetuated by the pro-abort community. 

Each time I see a woman entering an abortion facility my heart breaks because I walked through those doors …  twice.  I was scared, confused, and felt I had no other options.  I fell for the pro-abort rhetoric that it was my body, my choice and that I was doing the right thing.  Nobody told me the truth.

Nobody told me there would be a lack of compassion as I laid on that table … no one held my hand or offered any comfort at all.  No big deal. It was as if I was just going in to have a splinter removed.  The only smile I got was when I handed over the money.

Nobody told me I would eventually realize what I destroyed was not a blob of tissue or a clump of cells, but my children …  and nobody told me that guilt and shame would follow me for decades.

Nobody told me abortion could lead to alcoholism and drug abuse. Praise God I’ve been sober for twenty years, but for over twenty-five years, I was a raging alcoholic…why?  Because I had to do something to forget what I had done and to numb the pain.

Nobody told me abortion leads to unsavory behavior such as promiscuity.  I’m embarrassed to say I reached out everywhere else for love because I could no longer love myself.

And when I tried to settle down, nobody told me I would sabotage those relationships.  I had two failed marriages because I couldn’t allow myself to be happy. 

Nobody told me abortion leads to depression.  The same alcohol I used to forget the abortions and numb the pain contributed to my hurting everyone I loved, leaving me in self-imposed isolation, shrouded in darkness.  I became suicidal and ended up in a psychiatric hospital.  When asked why I wanted to die, I told the admitting psychiatrist I was already dead inside and just wanted to finish the job.

Nobody told me abortion results in other life-altering decisions. I lost the chance of experiencing the miracle of carrying and bearing a child by convincing a doctor to give me a tubal ligation at the age of 30 because I didn’t deserve to be a mother

And nobody told me that even though I asked God back into my life, I would still feel unworthy.  In 2006, while waiting to step into the waters of baptism, I grew anxious and frightened.  Still carrying my secret, I believed the sin of abortion could not be washed away.  It might sound stupid, but I feared the water would boil, killing my beloved priest and me.  Of course, that didn’t happen, but while others rejoiced in their baptism, I was sad …  I didn’t feel cleansed.    

For those in the audience who have had or encouraged an abortion - I understand the fear, the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of having no other choice and the anger held on to for being misled by the pro-abort community.    you are not alone.

BUT all is not lost.  Nothing, absolutely nothing is unforgivable in God’s eyes.  There is hope; there is healing …. Your lives can be restored and made whole. Abortion creates a gaping wound in our souls, but it can be sealed by asking for and accepting the love and forgiveness of God, our children and yes, even ourselves.  If you are still suffering in silence or know someone who is, healing programs are available. I have information with me today, or you can visit the Silent No More or Rachel’s Hope websites in the privacy of your own home.

Another thing I would like to address...  One in four women have had at least one abortion. They are our neighbors, co-workers and fellow parishioners … and many have been moved to get involved in pro-life activities while still holding on to their secret.  At several pro-life functions, I have overheard statements such as, “I don’t know how anyone could purposely kill their own baby” or “How selfish and heartless can a woman be?”  I know those statements come from the passion for saving lives, and not intended to cause pain…. but for one in four, they do.  When speaking out, remember the fear, confusion, and lies that led them to walk through the clinic doors. Let us all be loving and compassionate voices not just to those who are seeking abortions, but to those traumatized by them as well. 

And we need to remain vigilant in protecting not only the lives of the unborn, but the hearts and souls of those targeted by the abortion industry or encouraged by other sources like the one right in your back yard.  It’s imperative the Church of Scientology knows we are aware of their history of forced abortion and that we are watching and listening.  According to several former members who have spoken out, this atrocious policy has now been exposed. However, we need to keep the pressure on to make sure the practice does not continue in the future.  No one should EVER be forced to abort a child, especially from an organization that claims to be a church.

I will always carry the emotional scars of abortion but gladly display them as a means to share the truth, give hope to those still suffering, to honor my little angels, Matthew and Sarah, and to hopefully prevent others from destroying their lives and the lives of their unborn children.

Thank you for being on fire for life and for listening. God Bless each and every one of you. 

Cemetery of the Innocent - Hemet, CA