My book,"Moments with God", includes an article written by the late Jim Benefield, LMFT, "Turning Your Lifelong Regrets into Immeasurable Graces". It was an integral part of my healing and I'm sure it will be the same for all who read it. I was honored he and his wife, Rosemary (a driving force in my devotional writing), graciously allowed me to use the complete article. The following is an excerpt:
Face
Your Regrets
The first step to
freedom from past regrets is to describe them in detail. Explain
what you regret having lost in terms of past, present, and future
opportunities. For example, “My life would have been so much
better if I had not been adopted into this dysfunctional family,”
or “If I had worked harder at my grades, I would have been able to
go to the school of my choice.” Express your anger at yourself and
at others. When you have finished expressing your anger, imagine
yourself wrapping your regrets into “a package”. Then visualize
yourself going into the Garden of Gethsemane and presenting your
package of regrets to Jesus in his agony.
As you present this
package of regrets to Jesus, He invites you to kneel down with Him
and you hear Him say, “I will make something good of this.” And
then you see Jesus do a very strange thing: He takes your package of
regrets, and as he places them together with the multitude of regrets
already before him in the garden, He pulls you close to Himself and
begins to sob uncontrollably. As He sobs, you hear Him pray to His
Heavenly Father. He sees that these regrets have seriously impeded a
healthy trustful relationship between you and your Heavenly Father.
His prayer to his Father is filled with compassion on your behalf.
You lean close to
hear Him pray: “My dear Father, I know that you will refuse Me
nothing. I bring you this child whose heartaches and disappointments
have interfered with his ability to love and trust You. Father, he
is your child, and I ask that You not hold this against him. He has
been blinded by so much sorrow that all he sees is himself and his
regrets. He doesn't see Us and our love for him. Heal the anger in
his soul, and by your grace do not let him be dominated by
self-loathing, resentments, hostility and unforgiveness towards
himself and others.
“Oh merciful and
forgiving Father, touch him with the fire of your forgiveness and
plunge this fire into the deepest recesses of his being, so that he
is moved also to seek out forgiveness from You for those that have
harmed him. Remove this bondage of hate and let him no longer be
ruled by it. Remove the dismal outlook that he has for his future
and fill him with hope and knowledge of Our love for him. Give him
all that he needs so that he can receive forgiveness for himself and
hold on to Your forgiveness as his most precious gift from You.
“By the power that
I have in You, I hereby declare this soul free from the destructive
effects of the regrets of his past that he has not been able to let
go. I declare him free from the harm that he has done to himself and
others, and from the harm that others have done to him. Let healing
flow into those who have been wounded by his actions and omissions,
and when the time is right let there be reconciliation between them.
“Place your hands
over his heart and seal it with a confident faith in your provincial
care for him. Let him see the regrets that he has clung to so
tenaciously as “your branding mark” that will forever bind him to
your love for all to see. As surely as the cattleman brands his
steer for all to know its ownership, so let it be with him. Even as
You have used my wounds of the crucifixion to draw mankind back to
You, so let his wounds be joined with Mine, co-mingled with my
suffering for the expiation of sin and the conversion of souls. Even
as none of my suffering was wasted, do not let one morsel of his
suffering go unused for your divine purpose.”
As Jesus prays, you
notice that your package of anger and regrets is saturated with his
tears and by droplets of the blood from the “sweat” of his brow.
Jesus holds on to you even more tightly and concludes, “I thank you
for receiving and honoring this prayer on (your name)'s behalf even as
you receive and honor me.”
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!
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