Twenty-Five Reasons I'm Grateful for Sobriety

 

Twenty-five years ago today, I was institutionalized for being suicidal. I had reached my limit…hit my bottom.  The psychiatrist asked me why I wanted to die, and I told him I was already dead inside; I just wanted to finish the job.  The first thing they did was take my shoelaces away.  Not being trusted with shoelaces made me realize how sick I really was. After being considered no longer a danger to myself and adequately detoxed, I was sent to the alcohol rehab unit, where I began recovery.  Praise God, I have been sober since then….and if I feel the need to drink, all I have to do is look down at my shoes.  I don’t ever want to lose those laces again. 

I have learned many things since that day, including not taking myself so seriously. With that in mind, here are 25 reasons I’m grateful for 25 years of sobriety. (All True)

 1.  I no longer call people at 3 a.m., pontificating about the world’s affairs.

2.  I can stand upright without leaning against a wall or another person.

3.  I bowl better.

4.  With coffee, I am now wide awake and functional instead of wide awake and drunk.

5.  My language doesn’t emulate a drunken sailor (most times).

6.  I don’t have to worry about who I might have offended the night before. 

7.  I wake up in the morning without feeling like my mouth is stuffed with cotton.

8.  I use vanilla for baking, not a substitute for bourbon. (Yep, I was a sicko)

9.  I no longer think I'm a dancing queen.  (I’m surprised my dancing wasn't mistaken for seizures.)

10. I don’t go to work and spend most of the day in a bathroom stall, dozing. 

11. My glasses actually help me see.

12. After a night out, I come home with everything on (coat, shoes, jewelry, etc.).

13. I no longer talk as if my ears were plugged.

14. I no longer get reminded of what I had for dinner when it "comes up."

15. I can shoot a game of pool without hitting someone with the cue stick.

16. People now let me play darts.

17. I no longer need to sleep on the bathroom floor “just in case.”

18. I no longer mistake Bengay for Colgate (that was painful)!

19. I don’t have to wake up wondering how I got home.

20.  I can lay on my bed at night and not feel like I'm in a spin cycle.

21.  My hands no longer shake, making putting on eyeliner a breeze ... plus my eyebrows are even.

22.  I no longer faint when I open my American Express bill.  (I had the habit of buying rounds).

23. My perfume actually works.  I no longer smell like Eau d’bourbon.

24. Nyquil is no longer my go-to after-dinner drink when the liquor cabinet is empty. (It did have a shot glass on the top.) 

25.  With all my drunken antics, I am most grateful Facebook wasn't around yet!