Note: This blog is the intellectual property of Patti J. Smith, and any quotation of part or all of it without her approval is illegal.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Letting Go of Toxic People

For several decades, I've had a fragile and contentious relationship with someone close, faults assigned equally.  At some point, I decided it was time to offer up the olive branch.  I pulled up my big girl panties and took responsibility for my part in our differences.  Although I heard no reciprocal words of apology, I let it go and moved forward with renewed hope the fracture was permanently sealed.

The peace lasted for about two years when my hopes diminished, finding out I was covertly maligned, everywhere, including social media.  I received hateful messages from people who believed the lies, including some I considered friends.  The betrayal by someone I should be able to trust and lean on was devastating, and anger rose ... but not at the perpetrator ... at myself.  You see, this wasn't the first time being hoodwinked.  This last transgression was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  The last remnants of trust evaporated from my heart, and I said to myself, "NO MORE."

It's sad to let go of someone that should be an integral part of my life, but I finally realized that some things just couldn't be fixed, and continuing attempts to rekindle such a brittle relationship would invariably reap the same results.  It reminds me of the saying, Fool Me Once - Shame on You, Fool Me Twice - Shame on Me.  We should always give people a second chance, and possibly a third, but then it's time to surrender.  If our side of the street is clean, we shouldn't have to cross over to their side, time and time again, just to get run over. 

My priest once told me there are people that are so toxic they can inflict emotional as well as spiritual damage which will eventually draw us away from God.  He assured me it was okay to protect myself and close the door as long as it was without malice or thoughts of retribution ... and most importantly, done with forgiveness in my heart. 

Something we should always remember:

Tuesday, July 5, 2016


This is one of my favorite posts that will give you an idea of how my
mind works (be afraid, be very afraid!)...Thought it was worth posting again.

As a writer, life experiences sometimes inspire ideas for future projects, but I never expected a menial household chore to be one of them.

You see, I had an attack of domesticity the other day and decided to clean out my refrigerator.  I realized the contents could very easily be used to get rid of a spouse, backstabbing friend, noisy neighbor ... well, the possibilities are endless, and the passing would more than likely be determined an "accidental poisoning".

I'm embarrassed to say I had cottage cheese that expired three months ago, hidden behind a plastic container filled with something that morphed into a green slimy substance, hidden by all newly purchased grocery items.  In fact, there were several hidden plastic containers and some of the slime was even black. Did you know jelly can mold?  I didn't. I guess 2009 wasn't a good year for grapes. Of course, let's not forget salad dressing, horseradish, cans of whipped cream and a jar of maraschino cherries (I don't even remember using them ... they expired in 2012).

Not only did this chore give me ideas for a future book, it reminded me to be more diligent in checking expiration dates and throw the old stuff out. It's bad enough to be faced with slime and mold, but the smell.....that alone could do someone in.

And ... here it comes ... it gave me food for thought:

Just like expired items in the fridge, unresolved anger or hurt will fester and eventually poison your soul if you don't throw it out through forgiveness.