THE SECRET

That verse reminded me of a term frequently used in Alcoholics Anonymous:  "You are only as sick as your secrets."

Many women and men carry their abortion experiences in the dark recesses of their souls.  They do everything in their power to shroud the secret from others and the guilt, shame, and remorse associated with abortion from themselves. 

Sadly, the means used to avoid detection are more disastrous than exposure:  self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, eating disorders, promiscuity, being in abusive relationships, gambling, over-protectiveness of living children or the opposite, etc.    

I visualize the tools used to conceal the secret as volcanic magma.  As time passes, weaknesses in the earth’s crust can no longer hold back the magma, and a catastrophic eruption occurs. No matter what tool is used, its destructive nature will eventually emerge and usher in hopelessness, fear, and depression.

The only way to stop the debilitating aftermath of abortion is to summon the courage to reach out for healing.  Removing the shroud of secrecy will allow the light of love and forgiveness from our merciful God and Savior, thus replacing the guilt, shame, and remorse with peace and serenity.  

Take it from one who knows...

The Domino Effect of Grief

We all experience loss and will face many throughout our lifetime.  As we get older, the number of losses increases, sometimes to unbearable proportions. One would think (or hope) that the sting would somehow lessen after a certain amount of losses, and the tears would no longer flow with abandon. Instead, they become a controlled trickle.

In reality, we find that the sting is the same (and sometimes worse).  We might find ourselves muddling through our day with a deep sense of sadness for weeks or months and wonder if we are going crazy.  In most cases, we are not. It's called the "domino effect."

When we lose a family member, friend, or beloved pet, it triggers the memories and emotions of past losses.  This avalanche of feelings can be a little overwhelming, frightening, and, most of all, depressing.  We find ourselves either an emotional bowl of Jello or completely shutting down – isolating from everyone and everything. It's okay. It's normal.  Yes, it is uncomfortable and painful, but all part of the grieving process.  Trying to fight it is unhealthy.  As they say, "Go with the flow." 

Being in the business of grief, I thought understanding the dynamics would inoculate me from feeling the pain and anguish.   Not true.  My brain knows what is happening, but it doesn't communicate that knowledge to my heart. 

We all need to remember that the losses we face and the subsequent period of emotional upheaval are a testament to love.  It reminds me of a phrase in an old movie: "How lucky I am to have someone in my life that makes saying goodbye so darned hard."

In Memory of Michael Ray Campbell