Pain Revisited

This weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to facilitate a Rachel’s Hope healing retreat for post-abortive women. 

For two and a half days, I witnessed the excruciating emotional suffering abortion inflicts on vulnerable and frightened women.  Thanks to Planned Parenthood and other abortion facilities, these women had the procedure not knowing or being advised of the devastating psychological, spiritual and physical trauma waiting for them years afterwards.  Trauma waiting to attack every aspect of their lives … their self-esteem, self-worth, relationships, faith, employment, parenting, etc.  

The process of healing is emotional and  painful but the result is worth it, but as these courageous and injured women started the process, they could not yet feel the love, forgiveness and hope to come from God’s infinite mercy.  While listening to their stories and watching the tears flow down their cheeks, my mind wandered back to the time I too fell victim to the misleading rhetoric.  My heart threatened to break into tiny little pieces but, praise God, through the healing I received, I had the tools to avert a complete melt-down.    

 As I reflected on the past few days, my commitment to pro-life and the Silent No More Awareness Campaign grew tenfold. (It was already at 100% so watch out!)  Planned Parenthood and their counterparts should  be more than willing to advise their clients of the potential side effects of abortion.  They claim to be the major defender and caring (?) provider of women’s healthcare, after all.  But then, if the truth were known, women would think twice about abortion and clinics would no longer rake in the millions of dollars, forcing them to close their doors (what a wonderful thought) thus saving the lives of our precious unborn and the hearts and souls of the mothers and others involved in the abortion decision.

Abortion providers not only profit from the death of an innocent life, but they also take advantage of the frightened, the poor, the coerced, the vulnerable and the misinformed.  They must be stopped.

“America, your very future as a nation depends on your

willingness to protect the Right to Life of the

 most of the most defenseless in your society.” –Pope John Paul II

Candidates and Blood Money

David Daleiden was the keynote speaker at an event I recently attended – the man behind the Planned Parenthood videos that finally brought the truth to light.  He spoke of some of the atrocities uncovered and showed a portion of one of the videos that showed how callous and greedy the abortion industry is.  His rewards for the fearless expose were indictments in Texas, being sued in California federal court and the most recent reward … his home raided and computers seized on orders from the California Attorney General (whose Senate bid is being plenteously funded by Planned Parenthood). 

Our country was already in trouble when a child in the womb was determined to have no value and could  be legally killed via Roe v Wade.  It’s in more trouble now because Planned Parenthood and affiliates realized the child does have value…not for its humanity but for body parts.  Greed reared its ugly head - galvanizing the force of evil.

The fight continues, and I will continue to speak out against this barbaric practice.  These are children, my friends … not an old car someone can “part-out” to make a profit.  We need to keep this issue in the forefront and demand a comprehensive investigation into the perpetrators, not the brave souls that exposed the truth.  Most importantly, we must reject candidates pursuing public office that are lining their pockets with Planned Parenthood and affiliate’s blood money.   

“The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,

is the first and only object of good government.”

~Thomas Jefferson

With David Daleiden

Back in the Saddle Again

I’m sure the title of this blog post will bring a smile to fellow authors Murray Pura,  William Tasch, Jim Griffin, and Big Jim Williams.  The term is most certainly the best describer of my circumstances.  Losing both of my parents within two years of each other, an unexpected loss of a very dear friend and unnecessary family drama took a toll on me emotionally, but it also affected all aspects of my life, including my ministries and of course, my writing. 

I had started a collaborative effort with my publisher as well as outlining Series II of Grave Obsessions when my father began to fail.  I had a responsibility to my readers (and publisher) and knew they anxiously awaited finished products; therefore, I forged on for a while, but the joy and excitement usually experienced while weaving tales was non-existent.  The days leading to my father’s passing is when the keyboard started to gather dust.  It wasn’t a conscious decision to take a sabbatical, it just happened.  I continued to blog, but even then I threw in some old posts because I just couldn’t get enthused and to be honest, all I really wanted to do was not only get off the saddle but sell it along with the horse and barn.

Grief takes many forms as does stress.  When reviewing what I had written up to the break, I was appalled.  It was disjointed.  The words didn’t flow, they were just thrown on the page for word count and carried no emotion, excitement, or heart. 

I am now on a salvage mission, and thus far, it’s going well.  Granted, there is a great deal of rewriting to do, but the horse is rested and ready to sprint to the finish line.   

Thank you for your patience and understanding…..

 

THE CALL I'LL NEVER RECEIVE

As Mother’s Day approaches, I find myself, once again, on an emotional roller-coaster.  I look forward to hearing from my son who lives in Michigan and getting updates on his life and the lives of my precious granddaughters.  Sadly, after we hang up, I’ll stare at the phone knowing there should have been two more calls. 

My mind will fill with questions that have no answers. What would Sarah and Matthew have shared with me on their calls?  How many more grandchildren would I have had to love, spoil and brag about?     

My joy will forever be tarnished on Mother’s Day because of my decision to abort two precious angels over thirty years ago.  My heart should be filled with joy, knowing I have a loving son and grandchildren, but it isn’t.  Within my heart are two voids, aching with sadness and regret. 

Although I’ve made amends to God and my children, as well as forgiven myself through healing, the void is always there.  The only saving grace is that God gave me the courage to publicly share my pain. I pray my words will prevent others from experiencing the emptiness of a Mother’s Day call that will never come.  

For Matthew and Sarah