Doe Zantamata once said, “Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.” Those ten words best convey a recent cathartic experience.
Last week, I spent some quality time with my brother and his family and attended the wedding of my great niece. Months prior, I perused all the usual on-line travel sites for flights to Oregon. Reviewing the schedules, I shuddered thinking about being on a jam-packed airplane with no leg room, having to share an armrest and snacking on stale peanuts for the three and a half hour flight. I booked a flight, but only one way. Instead of flying home, I decided to do something I’d never done before …. take Amtrak in a roomette.
All I can say about the “long way home,” is it was the most enlightening thirty-three hours in my life. I shared meals in the dining car with other passengers, but the majority of time was spent in my cozy retreat, staring out the window and reflecting (along with taking a gazillion pictures and posting them on Facebook).
The past few years had been full of challenges, to say the least … the loss of my parents, and a close friend, and a betrayal by someone I loved and trusted. To combat the heart-break, I did what I always do … keep busy to avoid feeling. Every once in a while, a few feelings would slip out, but I am adept at plugging the dam before it collapses.
That game ended in the solitude of the roomette. All the pent up emotions came to the surface. Tears of grief, righteous anger and anguish poured out. It was a baptism of sorts….my soul cleansed and my mind cleared. The veil of darkness lifted, and I was able to see the sun (or should I say “Son”). Denying the pain delayed my reaching acceptance and seeing all the goodness and blessings in my life … but most of all obstructed my feeling the love and compassion of God.