Thursday, September 10, 2015
I'm Not There - Another Casualty of Choice
Being an active part of the pro-life community allows me the opportunity to meet and work with many dynamic and inspirational people. Such was the case this past week as I had dinner with Father Frank Pavone, National Director of Priests for Life/Pastoral Director of Silent No More Awareness Campaign and Georgette Forney, President of Anglicans forLife/Co-Founder of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign.
While enjoying outdoor dining on the beautiful San Diego Harbor, our light banter eventually turned to the Planned Parenthood videos and how they are exposing the truth about abortion. It was during that conversation I shared a little about my own abortions and a particular consequence recently realized. Georgette thought this revelation should be shared in a blog post, so here it is:
One of the tragic repercussions experienced by post-abortive women is self-destructive behavior. This behavior can come in a variety of forms including drug/alcohol abuse and suicidal ideation/attempts of which both I suffered. In addition to those behaviors, I also permanently destroyed my fertility by having a tubal ligation at the age of thirty … a means to punish myself for the abortions.
I eventually adopted a wonderful son from foster care who blessed me with two beautiful granddaughters and I love them dearly, but with that love is sadness. When I look at my son’s face as well as those of my granddaughters, I’m not there. They carry nothing of me biologically that can be passed on to future generations. My hands are strikingly similar to my mom’s. When I browse old photos of my grandparents, there’s no doubt I’m related. Granted, my ear and forehead size is an attribute I used to hide, but in time, grew to embrace because it’s something our family shares … along with dark eyes and high cheekbones. Unfortunately, to coin a phrase, “It’s the end of the line.”
I not only purposely took away the chance to experience the miracle of carrying a child and giving birth, but I've also ended the passing on of physical traits. As I terminated the life of two beautiful angels, I terminated the biological chain of life … a chance for a grandchild or great-grandchild to look at me and say, “Your hands are like mine,” or with a laugh exclaim, “Thanks for the forehead, granny!” One more aspect of abortion loss realized after over thirty years.
Although I carry deep regret and sadness, I’m equally filled with gratitude that God, in His infinite mercy, gave me another chance at motherhood. The love I have for my son and granddaughters goes beyond words and biology. Adoption is a wonderful way to enrich families and bring joy to infertile couples. I applaud the courage and selflessness of those faced with an unplanned pregnancy who either keep their children or place them for adoption. I applaud adoptive parents who open their hearts and homes, not just through private adoption, but through foster care.
All children deserve life, love and the opportunity to thrive.