Note

NOTE: Commentary is made as a private citizen and not as Regional Coordinator for Silent No More or Leader of Rachel's Hope, unless otherwise stated.

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Long Road Home - An Adoption Story

 
 
A drug-addicted woman left a seven-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl in a dilapidated motel room to bail her husband out of jail. She never returned. It took three days for those two frightened children to be discovered, and during that time, they survived on food the little boy found in dumpsters. The abandonment was reprehensible, but paled in comparison to the abuse and neglect they endured since birth.  To make a long story short, they were both placed in foster care and eventually released for adoption. 

That little boy is my son, Bobby, who was placed with Don (my late ex-husband) and me.  His sister was placed with another family because therapists determined it would be in their best interest to be separated, based on a variety of circumstances.  Through a coordinated effort with his sister's new parents (in Connecticut) though, we made sure they maintained contact through phone calls, letters and summer visits.
 
Bobby entered the foster system when he was seven, bouncing from home to home, until he moved in with us at the age of ten.  Although starving for attention, he was mistrusting at the same time.  He considered this placement temporary like all the others, and resisted getting attached, even with constant assurance we wanted him as our forever son.  
 
We were prepared for his doubts, but not the fear.  When he first moved in, he hid food under his bed because he was afraid he might not have any the next day.  Whenever we brought him new clothes or shoes, he slept with them under his pillow for the same reason. Due to prior severe punishment  (i.e., being forced to drink hot sauce, sleep outside "so the coyotes could get him"),  he was also terrified of dirtying or damaging his clothes.  Considerable time passed before the fear subsided, and it was only when the judge signed the adoption papers he finally accepted the fact he was wanted, and a forever member of our family.
 
I'm not saying it was an easy road.  Memories of abuse haunted him, which evoked angry outbursts and self-destructive behavior, common with his diagnosis of post-traumatic stress, depression and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  With love, prayer, patience, therapy, a support network and his strong determination to heal, he thrived.
 
Words cannot adequately describe the love I had for that precious little boy and the love and pride I have for the man he became.




Bobby and his sister on a
summer visit with us.


Who could refuse
this face?














Don, Bobby and me
at his high school graduation.







 
With his new brothers, who were adopted
at birth by Don and his first wife.

 

 
 
 





 



 

Bobby, now "Robert", is thirty-four with two beautiful daughters, MaKenzee and Madalynn.  He is a warm, caring father who makes sure his children feel wanted, safe,
but most of all ... loved.
 




 

My prayer is that more people consider stepping up and
making a child's dream of having a forever home come true.

 

 The following is a story my son wrote for an elementary school anthology
 ... a treasure I found a year ago.  





4 comments:

  1. What a wonder story today... My son & wife are waiting for a foster child and I pray they will soon have a forever child too.. thanks for sharing & being there for Bobbie :)

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    Replies
    1. Blessings to your son and daughter-in-law for giving a child the opportunity to have a loving family.....I'll keep them and you in prayer.....I'm so happy for you all!

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  2. What a beautiful story. My mom and dad were full time houseparents for a girl's home that took in girl's under similar situations. They actually were houseparents for some of the girls until they finished high school and remained active in their lives. My sisters and I still stay in contact with several of them too, they are just adopted sisters. One of my sisters is the Executive Director for an agency here that has a emergency shelter, supervises foster homes and has a home with full-time foster parents.

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