NOTE: Commentary is made as a private citizen and not as Regional Coordinator for Silent No More or Leader of Rachel's Hope, unless otherwise stated.

Friday, November 7, 2014

6205 Days - One Day at a Time

The following is an excerpt from my personal story, And God Still Loves Me - A Journey from the Dark Abyss of Sin to God's Mercy

"The morning of November 7, 1997, I called in sick to work, which was not unusual, and started in on a six-pack of beer. I had gotten into the habit of calling in if there was still beer in the fridge from the previous night. If there wasn't beer, NyQuil or vanilla sufficed. The more I drank; the deeper I sank into despair. The whole world fell down around me. I realized I was in a loveless marriage; I was a failure as a wife, mother and daughter, and I was alone. I felt empty inside, and hopeless. The emotional pain was excruciating, and I wanted it gone.  I wanted to die."


That dark morning, I held a bottle of prescription painkillers in my hand, fully intending on washing them down with the beer sitting in front of me. Before I could twist off the child-resistant cap, "something" compelled me to pick up the phone. Little did I know I was in the midst of Divine intervention. God had other plans for me. The call resulted in my being taken to a psychiatric hospital. When the admitting psychiatrist asked me why I wanted to die, I told him, "I'm already dead inside; I just want to finish the job." 

The intake process was degrading, but do you know what humiliated me the most?  Having my shoelaces confiscated. Not being trusted with something as simple as shoelaces and having to walk around in loose shoes, made me realize how sick I was. Once detoxed and determined no longer a danger to myself, my shoelaces were back in my sneakers, and I was transferred to the rehab unit to start the challenging process of recovery.

This past year has been one of the toughest in my life of sobriety.  Several situations brought me dangerously close to drinking, especially the death of my mother ... but, today I am celebrating 6,205 days of sobriety ... Thanks to God, working the steps, the support of family and friends … and maintaining a healthy respect for my shoelaces.

17 YEARS!!!!

Dottie B. - My first AA Sponsor.
We shared sobriety months and
she now celebrates with me from
Heaven.  Love & Miss You Dottie!

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