NOTE: Commentary is made as a private citizen and not as Regional Coordinator for Silent No More or Leader of Rachel's Hope, unless otherwise stated.

Friday, June 13, 2014

The Journal

Sometime in your life you will go on a journey.
It will be the longest journey you have ever taken.
It is the journey to find yourself.
- Katherine Sharp

I am a writer of devotionals, light romance, mysteries, poetry and lyrics ... and I blog. The sound of my acrylic fingernails tapping on a keyboard can be heard well into the wee hours of the morning. A classic case of CWD (compulsive writing disorder)?  Well, maybe, but did you know I also journal?  

It all started when I was given a little red diary for Christmas many, many, years ago ... The best gift ever, because it had a lock and key; my secrets would be safe!  I found that diary not too long ago, at the bottom of a box filled with old newspaper articles and pictures.  Sadly, it was the only one that survived the passage of time. 

The words of fifteen year old Patti brought smiles and tears. It reminded me of old friends, young love (I love Greg, no..I love Kieth, no...I love Greg ... I hate Greg), teenage angst, and who I was before succumbing to wretched behavior fueled by alcohol.

Diary pages remained blank during, what I call, "the dark days".  Not because I had nothing to say ... I didn't want to put those dirty little secrets on paper because I would have to face the truth of who I had become.

When I was committed to a psychiatric hospital, prior to rehab, the psychiatrist stressed the importance of journaling.  The thought of writing about my feelings terrified me because I would have to, at some point, read what I wrote - reliving the shame, remorse and regret.  I did, however, follow his advice ...  I was desperate, and willing to do anything to be freed from my self-imposed hell. It was through that journal something miraculous happened:  Each day I read all the previous entries and eventually I recognized a pattern of positive growth and change.

My journaling continues to this day.  Even though I'm sober and emotionally stable (?), it's my therapy.  It's a release valve for all my disjointed thoughts and pent up emotions - good and bad, but most importantly, it's a Chronicle of Hope.  Thank you God!




  1. Journaling is so important! I've been doing it since I was a teen, so I guess about 20 years. Great stress reliever, and a way to see your personal growth.

    1. It is important! It brings sanity to an insane world!!! :)


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