Each and every one of us of has experienced pain and suffering through another's words or actions which result in harboring a great deal of pain, anger and resentment, as well as a strong desire for retaliation. The only way to heal is through forgiveness and the only way to forgive is not by just saying, "I forgive", but including our offenders in prayer. We should first ask God to give us the love, compassion and humility to forgive then ask that He be merciful to our offenders and bring light to their darkened hearts. This was all addressed in my devotional, "A Mended Heart".
The "AHA!" moment came in Father Fernando's homily, something I will definitely add if I ever revise "A Mended Heart". He said we might not necessarily understand the reason our offenders choose to hurt us, but God does. He knows them as well as He knows us. Just as we should not waste our time plotting a way to get even, we should not waste our time trying to figure out the why's. All He wants us to do is follow His word and "forgive thine enemy" and let Him take care of the rest.
What I took away from Mass is this (Father Fernando, if you're reading this, correct me if I'm wrong!):
Passing judgement on their actions is not our job, it's God's.
Our business is to pray for that person, our job is to forgive ... and move on.
God gave all of us a set amount of time on this earth and harboring pain,
anger and resentment takes away precious moments that can be used for the good He created us to do.