Being an author of Christian devotionals it would appear my spiritual house is in order and I walk the walk. Well, I have a confession to make - recently it wasn't and I didn't.
Not too long ago we were informed my eighty-six year old mom has cancer. Upon hearing the diagnosis I found myself distancing myself from her because she wanted to talk about "it". I ran errands, wrote or (heaven forbid) cleaned and organized the house - anything to avoid sitting down with that sweet, frightened, wonderful woman and talking to her. I knew she needed encouragement, comfort, to share memories, and show me items she wants others to have when she's gone ... but I was afraid, afraid I'd break down in front of her - afraid I'd say something stupid - but most of all afraid of accepting the fact I was losing her.
There was a great deal of guilt due to my actions(or lack thereof)and it wasn't until a couple of days later, in the shower (I do my best praying and most crying there), that a feeling of peace surrounded me. God gently reminded me of the words I wrote in one of my devotionals and everything became clear.
Her loss will create a huge void in my life as she has been such a loving, important and influential part of it...but she's here today and I am going to cherish every moment.