The following is an excerpt from my soon-to-be released autobiography, And God Still Loves Me - A Journey from the Dark Abyss of Sin to God's Mercy:
"The morning of November 7, 1997, I called in sick to work, which was not unusual, and started in on a six-pack of beer. I had gotten into the habit of calling in if there was still beer in the fridge from the night before. If there wasn't beer, NyQuil or vanilla sufficed. The more I drank, the deeper I sank into despair. The whole world fell down around me. I realized I was in a loveless marriage; I was a failure as a wife, mother and daughter, and I was alone. I felt empty inside, and hopeless. The emotional pain was excruciating and I wanted it gone. I wanted to die."
That dark morning was my first experience with Divine Intervention. Although I didn't know it then ... it is clear now ... God had other plans for me. I had a bottle full of pills in one hand, intent on ending it all, but was oddly compelled to pick up the phone with the other. I was connected to people that knew what to do and was taken to a psychiatric hospital. After a thorough evaluation, I was diagnosed with suicidal tendencies due to alcohol induced depression and immediately admitted. It seems funny now, but through all the humiliation I experienced during the admissions process,what bothered me the most was the confiscation of my shoelaces. For some reason having to walk around in loose shoes made me realize how sick I really was. Once detoxed and stabilized my shoelaces were returned and I was transferred to the rehab unit to start the challenging process of recovery.
Today I am celebrating 5,483 days of sobriety. I am astonished as I didn't think I was strong enough to make it for one day, let alone sixteen years. Alcoholics Anonymous showed me a new way of life through the twelve steps but most importantly reintroduced me to God. I fight temptation every day but I know as long as I leave my life in His hands, work the steps and maintain a healthy respect for my shoelaces, I will make it to 5,484.
If you think you have a problem with alcohol call the local AA hotline or visit the website: Alcoholics Anonymous
(I know I will!)